eldercare share

Drugstore Bargains

2009-01-13T17:35:00.000-08:00

Everybody needs a bargain these days, not just elders. And the prices on simple stuff in the drugstore is sometimes unbelievable! We started using the Rite Aid rebate program about a year ago. At first, it was a pain in the neck...fill out those little spaces on the form, mail it in. Wait forever for the refund, if it comes at all. Then the lightbulb went on---we started submitting the info online. Key in your receipt number, submit at month's end, bingo, a check comes in a few weeks. It's pretty quick and painless, combined with store sales and coupons, it can save a bundle. You don't even have to check the rebate book, just enter the receipts anyway and the site picks up the purchases that qualify.
We also have one of the Walgreen prescription cards, but a lot of people miss the fact that these give a 10% discount on any Walgreen brand product. You have to swipe your card at checkout, and the discount amount will be deducted from your next purchase.

The Little Stuff

2009-01-11T09:52:00.000-08:00

We have an 88-year old in the house. He just lost his wife in 2008. He's lost most of his best friends. He is bed and chair bound, and doesn't get out much. But he has his marbles in tact. How do you help a person in this circumstance keep his spirits up? My current answer is to dwell on the little stuff. Make every football game like the Superbowl, with special snacks. Food is big with elders, so we make homemade cakes and candies. And we invite anyone to stop in and visit, even if the house looks like an unmade bed. We have Wii marathons. And we talk current events and put on CNN instead of daytime trash TV. We are always trying to invent new things to keep eldest elder engaged, and sometimes it isn't easy. But the interesting thing is, I find that the simple stuff that works for him also works for the rest of us. Celebrating the simple everyday stuff keeps us all from falling into a winter funk.

A Do Over?

2009-01-03T20:01:00.000-08:00

What is it about a new year that brings desire for change? As much as it's just another day, it's always a time to reflect, and to think about what we could do better. Or as they would say in "City Slickers," one of the funniest takes on reflection, we get a "do over." I like to think, as John Mayer says, that "the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve. " If only I could figure out how to roll the sleeve up. Change is tough. I think, because you want it to be an instant process and it is more likely a slow but steady process,.....one small step at a time. What do I want for today? To be more organized. It's never been my forte. NEVER. And maybe, to learn to cook with a little more panache. You know, less meatloaf and something slightly more exotic. To understand the stock market. (Don't fret, I won't mention world peace.) Happy New Year, one resolute day at a time.

Online Again

2008-12-30T13:51:00.000-08:00

For the past two months I've been using a borrowed eight year old laptop, as the house computer quit cold turkey. I'm back with a new laptop, and a new appreciation for speed. I missed doing holiday shopping online, but I also realized how much time is spent surfing and playing online. We made it through our first Christmas without Little Elder, and it was different. LE loved Christmas. Big Elder had moments of rueful remembrance, but did pretty well. Christmas is such a mix of fun and sadness, as the parties and visits are tempered with the memories of earlier years and people no longer here with us. Although we are all still grieving, we enjoy those who are here and keep putting one foot in front of the other. It's a bit of a roller coaster at times, but so it goes...

Ode to an Economic Meltdown

2008-10-21T11:10:00.000-07:00

The Dow is in a tailspin
As the former heavy hitters
Sit upon the sidelines
With total market jitters.

The days are growing colder
With no oil in the tank
And the work is getting scarcer
With no money in the bank.

It's bad when you are tickled
With a 4% C.D.
And a date is eating hot dogs
While the stars dance on T.V.

If the sparring politicians
Don't think up something drastic
I'll be 95 and asking
"Paper bag or plastic?"

The simple life is not so bad
Don't have a pity fit,
America is down, not out
And never do we quit.

Our treasures are our family
And our friends and good fresh air,
And not the newest gizmo
or a bibelot to wear.

I invite you to respond and add to the verses!

Don't Miss "The Hunt for Black Gold"

2008-09-29T07:34:00.000-07:00

I caught the CNBC documentary "The Hunt for Black Gold" last night, and I believe it is a MUST SEE for all Americans. It details the world situation regarding oil exploration, supplies and drilling. We are able, in some way, to remedy our own financial crisis. If there were an energy meltdown, this would probably not be the case. There is too much power (no pun intended) in the hands of countries we don't control. Some don't even particularly like us. We have seen the lines for gasoline in the Southeast following Hurricane Ike. It isn't too much of a stretch to imagine this on a nationwide level. And as Boone Pickens has so bluntly pointed out, "we can't drill our own way out of this one." New technology has got to be the answer. We are greatly innovative people. Until the new technology is in place, we need to conserve out the wazoo! Maybe we can each just do one thing to further the cause....use a clothesline, take public transit, walk, carpool, close off an unused room in the house.....just pick one. You know that tv commercial that demands the government to FREE US from foreign oil. How about we free ourselves!

Oil Spills

2008-09-23T06:26:00.000-07:00

I keep reading that drilling for oil offshore is so safe and secure, but never hear any statistics. So I decided to look them up for myself. I looked at the past year, and tried to find spills that were LARGE, in the hundreds of thousands of gallons. In the past 12 months, there were four. One was off the coast of South Korea, one in the Kerch Strait in Russia, and of course, the spills off San Francisco and in the Mississippi River near New Orleans. A fourth event, the discovery of 200 oil-slicked dead penguins on the beaches of Brazil, is still of unknown origin and quantity. There were also countless platform fires and over 40 platforms damaged in Hurricane Ike. This doesn't count smaller spills of under 100,000 gallons. Simply put....this is NOT safe and secure enough for me. How many coastal industries and wildlife could offshore drilling kill with one substantial spill? That I can't look up.

The Little Red Wagon

2008-09-10T17:23:00.000-07:00

I don't know where the urge came from, but about ten years ago I decided I had to have a little red wagon. I wanted to haul my mulch and garden tools from the garage in the rear to the front of the house in my wagon. They were too expensive, and I didn't really want a new one to throw dirt and mulch in. So I put out the call---if anyone saw a red wagon at a yard sale--CALL ME. I was excited when a friend called only a few weeks later to say her neighbor had one for five bucks at her yard sale. Bingo, I had my red wagon. The next time I needed to work on the front yard, I loaded it up. And that would be the last time I remember using the little red wagon. This little thing I HAD to have has been taking up space in the garage ever since. I'm having a yard sale soon, and guess what's going up for grabs. How many little red wagons are in your garage, or house. What is it that makes us think we want something so bad, and then it just passes. Little Elder used to always say, "Be careful what you wish for, in case you get it." So true.

Life and Shopping Carts

2008-09-08T13:59:00.000-07:00

I was in the supermarket parking lot today, and it struck me. There are two kinds of people in this arena: those who return the carts and those who leave them in a most inconvenient place for the next shopper---like in the middle of a parking space. How many times have you started to make that turn into the only space available, and had to get out to move the bleeping cart? Or come out of a store to find one lodged into the side of your car? News Flash: If you can push the cart from one end of the megasupergiantstore to the other, you can walk it the 20 feet to it's appointed area. Want your kids to put their stuff away? Try setting a good example! And then we have that possible third category of rare bird---one who not only returns their own cart but picks up another errant one along the way--WOW. What's amazing is that this is so out of the ordinary. I've become a big fan of the "insert a coin" shopping carts. Whatever it takes .

Admission

2008-09-04T18:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I have to fess up. I fell off the wagon last night. I turned on the convention 'cause I just didn't know who this Palin chick was. I'm still regretting it. First of all, can't we have political discourse in this country without the crowd resorting to mud wrestling behavior? It's so embarassing. (Take note here, I'm not a card carrying member of either party, I'm one of those blasted independents.) Other than that, I have the usual complaint, that which made me boycott the conventions in the first place: short on policy, heavy on insults. I'm so tired of it all. So much so that I've considered not voting at all this year. Obviously meanness works, the polls always show that to be true. There were a few lines in the speech last night that I would have insisted they remove----out of general civility. I believe you can be firm and strong without being nasty. (To be fair, I can't comment on the DNC because I didn't watch.) So I am going to go the way of the groundhog, and crawl back into my sheltered space and hide. I will be so glad when these spectacles are over. In the meantime, does anyone know where I can READ the factual platforms of each candidate, with no insults added? Please advise.

Here We Go Again

2008-08-31T09:22:00.000-07:00

My efforts to stay out of the political muck are being challenged at every turn. I was in a local store yesterday and the owner happened to mention for whom she planned to vote. A customer within earshot got a look of homicidal horror on her face and went on the attack. It's already starting. And I'm amazed at what some of these partisans say, how uninformed they can be about even their own candidates. I left the store like it was on fire. Yikes, how do you remove yourself from this lunacy? It so happened that I bought a book at a yard sale yesterday on "mindful meditation." I'm not a good "meditator" by nature, my mind is just too overactive. But I am determined to try. This is my plan for tuning out the political ruckus about to descend on us. I will read to stay informed on politics (I don't want to be a voting imbecile!) but I WILL not pay any attention to the televised political circuses or the nasty bulletin boards out there. It won't be easy, I'm a ordinarily a newshound, but this time I'm going out to lunch. Into a zone. I hope the meditation will help. To be continued......

Post Olympic Funk

2008-08-24T16:49:00.000-07:00

The Olympics are wrapping up and we are about to enter that post Olympic funk---and, oh no, I already finished that John Grisham book, what now? Even all the commercialism and hype can't manage to spoil the Olympics. Favorite moments: the freestyle relay leg swum by Jason Lezak, the Redeem Team final game, and the joy of the 8 American women rowers jauntily singing the national anthem on the podium. Yes, Little Elder taught us all to love the Olympics and this year we had to watch without her, but watch we did. The days are growing a bit shorter, and Summer is waning. There's a wistful feeling to the end of Summer, always. I must remember how gorgeous September can be, and look forward to the bite of a fresh Braeburn apple...or some homemade soup. Oh who am I kidding, nothing compares to Summer. The only good thing about time passing so quickly is that it'll be Summer again in no time. Til then we'll try to savor the moments and enjoy the little things in between.

Tuning Out

2008-08-18T13:46:00.000-07:00

The Olympics have been going "swimmingly" this time, and we've been enjoying the show. And then there's that nagging dread about when they're over, and then comes....you know, those conventions. I'm usually pretty interested, but this year I find myself wanting to tune it all out. It goes on too long, gets too nasty, and you can't find boots thick enough to wade through that muck and get to the truth. I just can't do it this year----and if my friends and co-workers on all sides of the aisle are any indication---neither can a whole lot of people. I will watch any "one on one" debate, and hope that the candidates actually answer the questions they are asked for a change. That's it. Nothing else. I think I'm in for a lot of cable TV....luckily I've recently become addicted to "House Hunters" on HGTV. That and a John Grisham paperback are going to have to carry me into November. Wish me luck!

Here Come the Olympics

2008-08-04T06:38:00.000-07:00

Little Elder instilled in everyone in her household a passion for the Olympic Games. They come this year not a minute too soon----rerun and reality TV is mucking our brains. Big Elder needs some programming that will keep him awake. I like to think that LE will be watching from above with Jim McKay. At times it seems that the games have become too much about endorsements, and that nothing short of a gold medal is noteworthy. Some members of the press love to corner 5th place finishers and make them feel like chopped liver----and I'd love to ask those reporters what they've ever done that comes close to being 5th best IN THE WORLD! But even with the down side, we'll be watching. Who could resist seeing if Dara Torres can turn in the swim of her life at 41 years of age? Now that's reality TV!

The Silent Media?

2008-07-27T06:51:00.000-07:00

Whether or not to drill for oil offshore is one of the biggest questions in America today. There are so many things to consider. So where was the media when 420,000 gallons of oil spilled into the mouth of the Mississippi River on Wednesday. Apparently a tanker and a barge couldn't avoid running into each other. Unacceptable. And it was buried in the mid-section of the papers. Apparently the media blanketly accepted the fact that Senator McCain cancelled his trip to a Gulf platform on Thursday due to bad weather. He was supposed to extoll the benefits of offshore drilling. Don't think that maybe the oil spill was more likely the reason? Having seen many hurricanes pass through our area, the minute they are gone the weather is placid and beautiful. (And I actually sort of like McCain, or I used to). I also heard on a commercial that there was an oil platform fire just in October of 2007, so I tried to search to see where that was. Good luck. There were so many platform fires listed for 2007 I was astonished. Again, never address this factor in the media coverage. If there's any media out there that wants to address a REAL issue, and not celeb-junk, here's my plea: how about a story on how many oil spills and platform fires have occured off the coasts of the U.S. in the last few years? I'll be waiting.

A Wish and a Challenge

2008-07-06T09:19:00.000-07:00

I wish a Happy Birthday to America on this 4th of July weekend, and thank those brave and innovative founders who turned a bold experiment into a thriving nation. But the papers are focused on other news these days, and it's all about energy, or lack of. Every day I read in the editorial letters that we should drill for oil offshore, or in Western states. What happened to the appreciation of unspoiled frontiers and pristine vistas that once called our ancestors to America? We need just a little patience and a tad of sacrifice. We are at our best when we are bold and innovative, and relief in the form of renewable energy is on the way. In fact, when it arrives, we will have the world at our feet. After all, fossil fuels are sooo yesterday. You know, deep down, that sucking the very guts out of the earth will always have consequences. And tapping deepwater oil will take just as long as creating renewable sources. (and don't kid yourself, be VERY expensive!) So I think we can carpool, take the train, hang a clothesline or wear an extra sweater for a few years until we have this thing solved. It's a teeny tiny price to pay compared to what the soldiers in Iraq face every day. Buck up and show 'em what we're made of!

Nope, They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To

2008-07-03T17:15:00.000-07:00

Recently it was the refrigerator that gave out. It was only seven years old and appliance guru told me we were lucky it lasted that long, that the new ones only last about five to seven years.. I was used to the old coppertone honker that came with our last house. Those and the old avocados never gave in. Today the nary a year old coffee maker quit in protest. One pot a day is all we asked. So I went to the basement and got out old faithful...the stainless steel Farberware percolator. Gotta be thirty years old. We've got space shuttles and a space station these days but can't make a decent household appliance. You want a well-made, quality appliance.? Don't go to the store, go to the basement. My hat's off to the Farberware percolator...it still hums.

Change is Inevitable

2008-06-28T13:08:00.001-07:00

Changes are afoot here at eldercareshare. In the aftermath of losing Little Elder, I was feeling lethargic and totally feckless. It was not only a personal loss, it was a big lifestyle change. Big Elder and the rest of us need DIVERSIONS. To that end, eldercareshare will now open itself up to more and varied topics---from news and pop culture to daily musings...anything that drops into the mental blender. Stay tuned.....

Freebies

2008-06-12T16:50:00.000-07:00

How often do you find something that is really free? I've found two freebies in the last month that are worth checking out. For anyone who has had a stroke or lives with a stroke sufferer, "Stroke Smart Magazine" is available free of charge. Get copies by going to www.strokesmart.org and signing up. Due to mailing costs, you must reside in the USA for the freebies. Another good resource is Coach Frank Broyles "Playbook for Alzheimer's Caregivers." The former Arkansas football coach wrote this book after caring for his Alzheimer's afflicted wife. Copies are available free from the Alzheimer's Association at www.alz.org.

Money Problems?

2008-06-10T14:19:00.000-07:00

I used to say that any problem that could be solved with money wasn't really a problem. How naive. When it became possible that Little Elder might have to enter a nursing home, I began making calls to inquire about details, and one of those details was cost. That's when I happened upon this small little detail: some nursing homes require that the person have a minimum amount of money to pay for care before they would have to go on Medicaid. And we're not talking a few thousand dollars here----more like a few hundred thousand. If the patient doesn't have enough up front cash, some homes will refuse to take them. This was a revelation to me---- it seems so un-American. Only the rich need apply. If the elderly person can't come up with the required cash fast, then they have to go somewhere else, maybe to a place where the care isn't as good. This may come as no surprise to some, but as a society, I thought we were better than that.

A Last Thought on Nursing Homes

2008-06-08T12:37:00.000-07:00

Have you come to that place---you are considering a nursing home for your elder. I have two words for you---think twice. From our experience, no matter how pretty the lobby is, they are breeding grounds for germs. In all the time Little Elder was in the "home," I never saw anyone urge her to wash her hands before eating. All of the residents pulled themselves down the hallway by grabbing onto the same railing---all with their unwashed hands. Just about every resident had the flu this past Winter. Most of the staff had it too. I saw a patient wipe her runny nose and then grab onto a piece of therapy equipment---how often do you think the communal equipment gets sanitized? I saw gloves that bathed patients go out of the room, still on the aide's hands. To keep germs at bay, they have to be on it 24/7, and they aren't. And this place had a good reputation. Don't even get me started about the falls. LE must have fallen at least 15 times. When her chair alarm sounded, no one responded. Not until she was on the floor and bruised. We weren't sure we could handle Little Elder at home, but one thing I feel certain of---we couldn't have done worse than the nursing facility. At least we knew that used sterile gloves went in the trash can.....

The Most Unnecessary Comment

2008-06-05T17:34:00.000-07:00

Eldest elder is grieving. So are we, his family. We've lost a loved one. We are wrung out. To top it off nicely, yesterday I had to have a root canal on my front tooth. And a well-meaning person looked at me today and said the one thing I most hate, "you look tired." Why do people say this? If you aren't tired, it makes you feel that you just look bad. And if you are tired, you feel worse knowing that it shows. So say, "can I get you something" or "can I do anything," but don't stand there looking at me and say I look tired. IT SERVES NO PURPOSE!!!! Okay. I'm done. I feel better now.

Life Must Go On

2008-05-31T06:11:00.000-07:00

Little Elder was buried on Thursday with her family at her side. She had military honors(the folded flag, taps) which was very moving and a bit difficult. She was most proud of having been a Navy nurse and would have loved the ceremony. Our challenge now is to help Big Elder get through the next few weeks, months, holidays, and have a quality life. He has been with Little Elder for over 60 years. We hope to get him involved in some way with the Alzheimer's Association, although he certainly doesn't have the mobility to go out and do walkathons. He says it's not natural for a man to outlive his wife, and yet several of his male friends are widowers. Big Elder not only needs family now, he needs a meaningful endeavor for his free time. He is confined to a wheelchair but his mind is clear. If anyone has any suggestions, please post.

Sad News

2008-05-25T07:28:00.000-07:00

We sadly report that Little Elder passed away on May 22nd. We were hoping and preparing to bring her home, but it wasn't to be. There are many residual thoughts on nursing homes and eldercare to be posted at another time, but for now we are preparing a memorial service, looking after Big Elder, and remembering a life well lived.

Not a Fun Time

2008-05-21T06:32:00.000-07:00

Little Elder did not come home as planned. Instead, the antibiotic she was on coupled with severe dehydration(shame on you, nursing home) put her in kidney failure. She has been in the hospital for a week and is not well. They say that the kidneys are getting better, but it is a slow boat and has set her back terribly. This may prevent her from ever coming home. Needless to say, she will not be going back to the nursing home from "Hades." A woman I met in passing said she heard that there are two kinds of nursing homes: one considers not restraining patients issue #1 and the other considers patient safety issue #1. LE was in the first kind----this time, we'll make sure she gets into the second kind. What good are no restraints if the patient is bruised from head to toe or has a broken hip? It would also help if the staff made sure that patients had adequate fluid intake, so they didn't end up "severely dehydrated." Shame, shame, shame.

Good Stuff Cheap

2008-05-09T07:16:00.000-07:00

We've shared maybe enough nursing home horror stories(although there are more), so maybe it's time for an upbeat note. Had to order some medical supplies for the pending homecoming of Little Elder the other day. Capable Sibling called and noted the website for Colonial Medical Supplies out of New Hampshire. We studied the huge online catalog and found things that we never even knew existed, things that the nursing home could use but doesn't have. The order that we placed on Monday afternoon arrived on Wednesday. The rep taking the order was friendly and helpful, and the prices were WAY better than the local medical supply store(even with shipping)! Colonial Medical will be our go-to company for our future medical supplies.

Know When to Say When

2008-04-30T06:21:00.000-07:00

Back in town. I will head to the skilled nursing facility to make arrangements for Little Elder to come home. She was found by a visiting family member on the floor last night. She was crying out for help and her alarm was blaring. Althought her room is right next to the nurse's station, it appeared that no one there could hear her cries for help. Her visitor heard them from down the hall, as he approached the room. She has also contracted yet another infection there, which we attribute to the decided lack of cleaniness. At the price she is paying, we shouldn't have to go out there with our own disinfectants and clean the room, but that has become the case. The lack of training in sanitary practices in this place is unbelievable. If you have an elder in an SNF, be there often---and at all different times of day. Sometimes all of the good help is on one shift and the other shifts are worse than lame. Last weekend, while I was away, I understand that the only person there to take care of LE was an unsupervised trainee. She deserves better.

Caretaker Vacation

2008-04-23T06:42:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm going away for a few days. A trip out of state to visit family. With Little Elder still in a nursing facility, now is the time to go. But it still feels weird. My capable sibling will be here with Eldest Elder. I am excited to go away and have no responsibilities, but I'm just not used to it and by the time I get used to it it will probably be time to come home. Oh well, I plan to wring every moment out of it. Being around elders who can't travel any longer teaches you to savor each moment of the trip---even the hours on the train. Especially the hours on the train---reading, doing puzzles, eating and drinking food that I didn't prepare, staring at the landscape. I am even leaving the blog behind, so no entries 'til next week sometime. I could say take time to smell the roses, but I prefer the lilacs and the freshly mowed grass. Open the windows and take a whiff.

When I Am Old, PLEASE Belt Me.

2008-04-16T16:33:00.000-07:00

Well, we finally got the rehab center to put a seatbelt on Little Elder's wheelchair. It took 6 weeks, 10 falls, and an act of congress, but it's done. Apparently state regs don't want any form of restraint on elder patients. None at all. Centers brag about being "restraint free." Little Elder was restraint free. And she fell on the floor ten times. She is covered with bruises and lacerations. She was free to batter herself, and that she did. When a child is put in a car, they are placed in a belted car seat. When an Alzheimer's patient who can't walk(but can't remember that) is placed in a movable chair, it only makes sense to belt them in. Why is this sooo difficult for some paper pusher in a state cubicle to understand? Some days I think the world is mad.

That Amazing Eldest Elder

2008-04-11T06:53:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you can learn a lot from an elder. The other day I walked in to find Eldest Elder playing Wii tennis with one of his home health aides. They were both roaring with laughter. Eldest Elder has taught me that sometimes you just have to say, "it is what it is" and do something fun. Meet new people, take change as an everyday occurence. At 87, he has lost most of his longtime friends. His wife of almost 60 years has Alzheimer's Disease. He can't walk or get out of his chair. But he delights in singing old songs, eating good food, visiting with his brother and children, reading, keeping up with politics, and LOVES watching "Dancing with the Stars." He gets along famously with his health aides. Every time one of them has to move on, for some reason, we worry that he'll be depressed. Two days later we hear him in his room yukking it up with his new aide, and we wonder why we thought the transition would be difficult. He has moments of sadness, and misses the ability to walk, but he looks up and moves on. It is what it is. Play some music and let's sing. We could learn a lot from Eldest Elder.

Nursing Homes---Not for Sissies

2008-04-03T17:01:00.000-07:00

Oh, the things I've learned while Little Elder has been in a nursing facility. Could I have been so naive? Like, I thought soiled gloves went in the trash can before leaving a patient's room. Apparently, this isn't so. They sometimes go out the door, down the hall, over the river and through the woods. I turn my head so I don't see if they go into the dining room, yecch. And how about wheelchair brakes? I thought they were set to lock the chair in place. Not so. They are there to add a decorative touch to the chair, not to be actually used unless state certification inspectors are in the building. Patient alarms? Pure musical entertainment. Add the lights turned on by the patient call buttons and you have an audible and visual extravaganza heard by all except the staff, who seem to see and hear nothing. I know, this sarcasm bites. You probably won't believe me until your elder is in an understaffed nursing home. And with smoke rising from your ears, you'll say, "old eldercareshare was right on the money." For your sake, I so hope that I'm wrong.

Can You Say "Rubber Stamp?"

2008-04-01T13:56:00.000-07:00

Well, Little Elder's second appeal was denied. We had two doctors say they thought she needed more therapy, and one of the actual nurses in the rehab center admitted she was still making progress, but the rubber stamper at Maximus lowered his stamp. DENIED. So family and friends have been going to the nursing facility to exercise and walk her, and guess what? She's now getting better and more therapy than she got from the so-called professionals. The words from Candide are whistling through my brain, "tend your own garden." Much more on skilled nursing facilities in the next post....be afraid.

A Call for Help

2008-03-27T06:52:00.000-07:00

I am appealing to cyberspace for help. Little Elder is doing well. She is right on the line between needing to be in longterm care and coming home. There is one sticking point: getting up in the wee hours of the night. I can't get up with her every night and get adequate sleep to work and have a quasi-normal life. (Once awake I would never go back to sleep). Usually the problem is wanting to use the bathroom. HELP!!! What do you caretakers out there do with an elder who insists on getting up at night? I can't appeal to reason with LE because of the her dementia. If you have any ideas which help at all, please respond.

What's the Deal with the Appeal?

2008-03-24T17:10:00.000-07:00

Little elder's appeal was denied. It seems that we can now appeal the appeal decision with a group called "Maximus." Seriously, where do they get this stuff? Too bad they don't make a Garmin for navigating the Medicare System. So, we appeal the appeal. Jim Valvano would be proud...(can't help the basketball talk when March Madness is in progress). I asked to look at Little Elder's medical record today (yes, have POA) and you would've thought I asked the nurse for her firstborn child. I almost had to pry it out of her clutches. Oh, the healthcare system. This is the real March Madness....

Disposable People?

2008-03-23T11:59:00.000-07:00

They have given up on little elder. The rehab center has issued their proclamation: she has gone as far as she can go. Her Medicare funded rehab is over. After she survived a roaring bout of the flu and six falls in rehab (on their watch), they have given up. It's ironic, because little elder never gave up on people. She is from the Jim Valvano school of not giving up. Okay, you can tell I'm taking this personally. We've filed an appeal. I am sure that the paper pushers at Medicare will rubber stamp the rehab center's decision. Nevermind that she is a mother, grandmother and U.S. War Veteran: on the assembly line of rehab, she is a number, and that number is up. The appeal decision will be made within a few days, and I will post the outcome here. Until then, I hope that all out there have better luck with the U.S. healthcare system. I think it bites.

A Blogger Lost for Words

2008-03-15T09:24:00.001-07:00

It has happened. Little elder was very sick, and now is in rehab at a nursing facility. We are facing the possibility that she will not be able to come home, and I have been at a loss for words. After falling on my front teeth, I got the flu, and now this. It hasn't been a good time, and I've been unable to even write of it. And the finances, and paperwork. How to afford it all in a horrible market. It seems lately as if life has thrown us under the bus. To be continued.....

February Goes On, but...

2008-02-25T13:50:00.000-08:00

Still February. We had our first snowstorm of the season. There have been an unusual number of gray and damp days. Little elder is now in rehab, and not happy. Apparently Medicare covers 20 days of rehab if a hospital stay is 3 days or more, and the doctor orders it. Something to know. My teeth are trying to heal, with the help of a compassionate dentist. Eldest elder has become a Wii tennis afficionado. There are glimpses of spring through the clouds. It is light at five o'clock again. There is hope...

February

2008-02-11T12:15:00.000-08:00

T.S. Eliot said that "April is the cruelest month." I think he was wrong...it has to be February. Things just seem to hit the fan in February. Can we get an amendment to remove it from the calendar? On Superbowl Sunday we realized that something wasn't quite right with Little Elder. Nothing specific, just weak and not herself. On Tuesday, I took a spill and broke my front teeth. If you're thinking ouwwwch, you're right. On Friday, Little Elder ended up in the ER really out of it. After laying on a stretcher for 14 hours between people alternately vomiting and fighting, she was admitted to the hospital. Oh, if only Michael Moore could have been in the ER that night he'd have a whole new movie out. Now, no one seems to know what might be wrong with our elder, except that she is very sick. Eldest elder wants to go visit her, but of course can't walk, and he is grumbling. The wind is howling, my sister is coming down with something, it is just Februaryitis and it needs to be eradicated! If you have one, send me a cure....

Wii Have Fun with our Elders

2008-02-02T07:20:00.000-08:00

Our household was given a Wii for the holidays. Well, we looked at it and didn't really know what it did, or what to do with it. Our gift giver set it up and got it ready to go. It came with the basic game disk and one extra disk. We entered the world of Wii, and we've been having some heated competition and great fun ever since. Bowling on the Wii is so real you can smell the musty old shoes. Tennis is actually a bit of exercise. Can our chairbound elder enjoy the games too?---the duck shooting on the alternate disk(purchased separately) is perfect for him. It can be done seated and requires only one good hand. It is great for his hand/eye coordination and just a good time for him. I came into the living room the other day and he and his health aide had played 21 straight games! It's also fun for the aides, whose job can be tedious at times. Wii and the elders are having a great time with the Wii!

Is the Laundry Ever Done?

2008-01-27T13:59:00.000-08:00

Laundry, loads and loads of laundry, is a part of caregiving. We have a few strategies in the house for helping to manage the time and cost of so much laundry. First, as mentioned in a former post, bed protector sheets are always in use here. Just washing that one pad instead of a whole set of sheets cuts down on lots of laundry. And speaking of bed sheets, having two sets of the same sheets helps as well. Sometimes only the top or bottom needs washing, and that way, the sheets still match (if this really matters...). Drying clothes is the part of laundry that costs out the wazoo, but there are a few ways to save. Of course, a clothesline in nice weather is nature's way of drying clothes---fresh air, fresh smell, clothes last longer, better for the environment. It's a win-win. We have a gull-wing rack in the basement for Winter, and we just hang a few of the heavier items on that. The rest go in the dryer with a dry, fluffy towel, which for some reason, cuts down the drying time. Out of laundry detergent? In a pinch you can use dishwashing liquid for clothes that aren't heavily soiled. And for fabric softener you can substitute either diluted hair conditioner or vinegar. Left the clothes in the dryer after they were dry and now they're all wrinkled. Wet a hand towel in water with a little fabric softener, then wring it out. Put it in the dryer with the wrinkled clothes and run for about ten minutes. Sometimes this will remove the wrinkles sufficiently. These are our laundry tips. Feel free to share yours......

Rate Cuts and Elders

2008-01-24T13:42:00.000-08:00

While Wall Streeters may be jazzed about the Federal Reserve rate cut this week, I know one group of people who are less than thrilled: elders. Most people over 75 or 80 live on fixed incomes, and don't know if they have enough time to wait out an iffy market. For this reason, they often invest in certificates of deposit. As the Fed rate decreases, so usually does the interest rate paid on cd's. When the next rollover comes around, seniors may get a jolt. That 5% yield they've been getting may turn into 3% or even less. If you are helping an elder manage their money, this may be the time to revisit whether or not they qualify for any monetary assistance. Some areas have property tax freezes based on income. Senior veterans may be eligible for the little publicized "aid and attendance benefit." Some drug companies offer free medications based on income eligibility. Contact Social Services or the local Office on Aging and ask where to get information on assistance programs for seniors. After all, the government is all but doing handstands to help younger people in debt., so how about those seniors who have so few options.....let's give them every advantage out there!

The Dreaded Topic

2008-01-22T16:27:00.001-08:00

Okay, it's the thing no eldercare providers really want to talk about....the accidents. You know, the bathroom accidents. It is sooooo hard to keep a clean bathroom when there are elders in house, especially in the area around the toilet (Don't make me get more graphic than this). We put a nice rug around the toilet. It had to be washed a couple times a week, til the rubber backing wore off. Next, we tried just heavy contractor's paper. We got a big roll and figured we could just throw it out as it got dirty. Taped it down so it wouldn't slide. But the tape never stuck well to the tile floor, and it still shifted. Not a good thing for unsteady elders. We found the answer one day in the dollar store----an oversized rubber bathmat (blue, with little ducks on it)! Placed in front of the toilet, it sticks like glue because there are suction cups on the bottom. But when it gets dirty, you just pull it up and rinse it off with the shower hose. Hang it to dry and it's back in action within an hour. That one dollar mat has saved lots of laundry time and has worked better than anything we've tried.

Translating Medicaid

2008-01-18T14:08:00.000-08:00

In the last post, we mentioned how difficult it can be for elders to qualify for Medicaid for Nursing Home Care. A book which helped us a lot(at least helped us to ask the right questions) is called "How to Protect Your Family's Assets from Devastating Nursing Home Costs: Medicaid Secrets." It was written by K. Gabriel Heiser, an attorney. We received notice that this book has just been updated for the coming year. It explains some very complicated Medicaid policy and gives a great overview, although states can vary on the specifics. For a good basic knowledge of Medicaid/Nursing Home issues, this is a great starting point.

Homecare vs. Nursing Home

2008-01-17T07:26:00.000-08:00

Ah, probably the most difficult question any caregivers will face. Homecare or nursing home for our elders? At this point, we have opted for homecare, and hope to do so for as long as our elders know where they are. But it isn't easy, and the choice is revisited often. Sometimes daily. If the elder/s can't be left alone, it requires super-reliable help. And probably at least one family member that lives with them, because even the most reliable help can take ill, or need time off. It can be a financial issue as well. It takes money to hire help, and it's usually not covered by Medicaid. A nursing home may be covered, if the elder has little money. After the new policy enacted in 2006, a person has to be pretty flat broke to qualify---this is where you need great financial advice. Homecare is also stressful, and you live in a state of alternate reality. Any day that is ordinary is a good day. Some days you feel as if the world out there is operating without you, that you have dropped out. Your retirement savings may suffer. It keeps going because you know, for the time, it is the right thing. A lady we know took care of her mother who had Alzheimer's Disease. When she began to wander too much, and even threaten a newborn baby in the home, she knew it was time. Mom went to a nursing home. Her advice to us was....you will know if and when it is time. And in the end, if you make that decision, don't ever, ever, ever second guess yourself.

Divided We Fail

2008-01-15T13:04:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to make sure that everyone reading has heard of the AARP campaign called "Divided We Fail." It is a nonpartisan push to ensure that no Americans lose their financial footing due to health issues. This does not just refer to the uninsured: a major illness can leave even an insured person thousands of dollars in debt. You can register at the site http://www.dividedwefail.org/, read the blog, and check out the progress of this campaign. You can even send them your personal story. This is an especially important issue to caregivers...those of us who have health insurance often provide and pay for it ourselves because our work opportunities are limited. Many caregivers work from home or work part-time because their elders just can't be left alone. And most politicians who have big bucks to pay someone to care for their family just don't have a clue. So join up with Divided We Fail and help them understand how this issue affects us ordinary folks....

Fear of Alzheimer's

2008-01-13T07:59:00.000-08:00

If you take care of a relative with Alzheimer's Disease, you live with it. The fear. Every time you can't find a word, or forget where your keys are. Our family isn't just spotted with the disease, it is rife with it. It's passed down like the wedding china. So as far as research goes, we read and pay attention. Here, so far, are some of the ideas that have been put out by researchers and (maybe) snake oil salesmen. None of them are radical. Recently, it has been noted that dementia is more rare in India than in the rest of the world. Studies have narrowed the possible cause to curry, or more specifically, the turmeric in the curry. The spice turmeric can be purchased at the grocery store. I add it to tea, or casserole dishes. It has a woodsy taste not unlike rosemary in the tea. Other studies have suggested that the old apple a day theory was on the money...that something in apples is a dementia preventer. So, how easy is it to eat an apple each day or so? Fish oil has been mentioned also, although you'd want to check with your doctor on this if you want to take the capsules. The last and oldest suggestion is exercise, both physical and mental. (Can you do a crossword puzzle or sodoku while pedaling the exercise bike--that's a twofer!) Don't know if any of these strategies really work...check back in twenty years and we'll let you know......

Keeping Good Help

2008-01-11T13:50:00.000-08:00

We've shared before the fact that good home health aides can be hard to find. But we've found a few. Now we'd like to share some things that we do to try to keep the gems. First of all, our agency made it clear that we are responsible for feeding our HHA. Although one of our aides has shared the story of a client who made her bring her own food and followed her around to make sure she didn't eat any household food. Not only do we feed our aides, we ask what they like to eat and try to stock some of their favorite foods. It's a small perk for people who don't always make big dollars. Another biggie: let them have some time out of the house. Nobody can look at the same walls nonstop. Just be specific about when you need them to be back. On that same note, include them in family outings or celebrations out of the house. In the other direction, allow them some privacy. Try to give them a space of their own, and give them a lock on the door if they want one. We added cable tv to the extra bedroom, so our aide could watch other shows in the evening, if she preferred. When it comes to supplies for the patient, some aides have clear preferences----they like certain wipes or cleaners, etc. Get them what they like whenever possible. Remember too, that your aide may be up in the night with the patient, and may need occasional naps after difficult nights. Lastly, maybe you can't afford to pay them more than contracted for, but an occasional gift card or small bonus is always well appreciated.

There are Cushions and Then There's......

2008-01-08T06:30:00.000-08:00

We needed help with eldest elder. He was confined to a recliner chair all day, and due to arthritis and a stroke, could not move himself around much. He whined and squirmed. To put it bluntly, his backside hurt. We had to shift him from side to side every two hours. Then we decided to call the wound nurse who had been so helpful in showing us how to make him comfortable in bed. And she said the magic words-----Roho High Profile Cushion. She highly recommended this cushion for our elder's comfort. I called the local medical supply store, and they didn't stock them, but would special order one for us. By the way, did we know that the cost was $435.00? For a CUSHION??? Oh and, no, Medicare usually wouldn't cover them unless a person had serious pressure sores. (In other words, when it's already too late). So I went online on a mission. A few days later we received our Roho HP Cushion for less than $200, thank you very much Ebay! We've had it for several years now, and it has transformed the daily life of our elder. No more shifting every two hours, no more pain. This cushion was nothing short of a miracle for us!

Searching for Coins

2008-01-06T16:32:00.001-08:00

Is everybody out there aware that you can raise pennies for charity just for doing the online searches that you'd do anyway? Yahoo has a search site at www.goodsearch.com. If you have a charity i.d. to enter there, every search you key in will raise money for charity. It may only be a penny per search, but there is power in numbers. Our household's chosen i.d. is 813628, and each of our searches raises money for the area Alzheimer's Association. Check it out, pass it on, and search the web for your favorite cause!

The Blasted To-Do List

2008-01-03T13:24:00.000-08:00

If you're a caretaker you probably live by the standard to-do list. With all the prescriptions, bills, doctor appointments, etc., it's inevitable. My favorite comment about these lists came from friend several years ago. He said that he always put a real "gimme" as the first item on the list, like, "put the dog out." He knew he always put the dog out anyway first thing, but just getting to cross through an item on the list made him feel like the day was starting out right. Of course, we always try to list things in order of importance (after "put the dog out!") Appointments and prescriptions that need filling always come first. After that, consider what is left that MUST be done that day. Then kick the leftover items to another day's list and go fly a kite. Read a book. Take a walk. Play with the WII. I believe that elders enjoy life more when surrounded by those who enjoy life more, and the constant ticking off of items on the list is, after awhile.......a drag. So use that list as a guide, but don't be afraid to look at some items and think, "not gonna happen." Not today and maybe not tomorrow. Laundry and dust will always be there, but your treasured elders will not. Hard as it may be, we try to find ways to breathe some lightness into caregiving.

Elder Baggage

2008-01-01T13:20:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when you take care of elders, you inherit other "things" which also seem to need care. In our case, there were two kinds of baggage that came with our elders: a huge, old arthritic dog, and a huge, old Victorian house. They had lived in the house for over 50 years, and we hoped for them to be able to stay there. The dog stayed too, no question. All 120 pounds of him. While the house had been upgraded for most of those 50 years, it had recently played second fiddle to health issues. Suddenly, it needed work. The old, underground oil tank needed to be dug up and replaced. The furnace was approaching 40 years of age. The roof was starting to lose shingles. We made a list in order of importance, and started the process of upgrading the house. The lesson in this is: If you have family who are approaching their elder years, make sure that their home maintenance is being kept up. Whether they want to stay in their house or sell it, it needs to be maintained. Pay special attention to the heat/insulation issues. Elders seem to like a level of heat that leaves the rest of us reaching for our tank tops. And if they say they're going to go out and get a dog and you can't talk them out of it.....plead for a little lapdog that won't need to be hoisted up the front steps in his old age. (And remind them that vets don't take Medicare!)

Recorders as Reminders

2007-12-29T11:23:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the persistent questions of an Alzheimer's patient can drive you right out of the room/house/town/state. No one can really, fully comprehend it unless they spend long hours with the patient. Those who drop in for an hour visit find it almost "cute" at times. Long term, it is not really cute. We have tried writing things down, but our elder will leave the paper on the table and go to another room and continue with the same questions. Finally, we bought one of those tiny digital recorder/keychains. We hung it on a neck cord(those things that hold your nametag at a conference) and put it on our elder like a long necklace. We then recorded the date, day, and events of the day most often asked about. With only 20 seconds, we had to talk fast, but that was usually just enought time. Does it help? At times. With only two buttons (record and play), it is very easy to operate. You can even take a marker and highlight the play button to help your elder. Sometimes our elder will remove it. At least when the barrage of questions starts, you can just say, "hit the button" and let the recorder answer. And now, I understand that they have come out with recorders with a little more time on them. It's not always a perfect solution, but it can help. For only a small amount of cash, it is worth a try.

Downsizing Christmas-A Blessing in Disguise

2007-12-26T14:00:00.000-08:00

We had to simplify Christmas this year. With two not totally well elders in the home, you just can't do it all. So we did what we could and let it go. The tree was up. No one actually noticed that it had lights on it but no ornaments. Just never got around to it. Take down will be a breeze. We didn't host our usual Christmas Eve Party. But most of the usual suspects dropped in at their leisure anyway....and we had cookies on trays and Malibu Bay Breezes in the blender. The ingredients for the "cookie press" cookies are still in the refrigerator. They'll get made in the doldrums of February, maybe. The gifts were pared down a bit-not a bad thing. And they were all "wrapped" in gift bags, which we all trade and get back the next year. It was so laid back, it was Christmas light. And actually, it was all very nice. Instead of being wiped out and spending late night Christmas Eve doing a ton of dishes, we read, napped, and watched TV. (Although we couldn't find the channel for the Yule Log, another odd household tradition). We even had take-out for Christmas dinner. (better than my cooking anyway!) Although we hadn't much choice about downsizing the holidays this year, I'm afraid that it's going to stick. It was, in an odd way, our Christmas blessing.

Name that Malady

2007-12-22T07:16:00.000-08:00

See if you can make the correct diagnosis......
Otherwise healthy person suddenly starts having bouts of anger, mood swings, and despair, punctuated by times of serenity and complete normalcy. Person is easily frustrated. Begins having heart palpitations, muscle pains, back trouble. Ability to hold a job becomes hampered. Becoming increasingly housebound.
What do you imagine this is? Fibromyalgia...depression...........maybe chronic fatigue.....?
Nope, this is Alzheimer's Caregiveritis. As a patient's Alzheimer's progresses, so does the caretaker's caregiveritis. The job troubles and housebound aspects manifest as the caregiver is less and less able to leave the home. Hired aides are not always reliable, or can take ill like anyone else. There is no cure, but there are management strategies. First is a caregiverectomy, otherwise known as a vacation. A break. Not permanent, but a help. The second strategy is much more difficult: learning to let go. In this country, we are taught to "never give up," to try and try again, that failure is not an option. It's the American way. But the spectre of Alzheimer's Disease is too big for any mere mortal right now. The patient will have behaviors that can't be corrected. When you can't find a way to let go, maybe a diversion will help, a funny one at that. Keep a copy of you favorite funny movie (Cityslickers and Bull Durham are two of mine), call a friend who can always make you laugh. Or, if you can't get out to even take a walk, put on your favorite music and dance like a fool. It's not a cure all, but you may feel better for awhile.

No Pressure

2007-12-20T07:01:00.000-08:00

Holidays can be a weird time for caregivers. All the talk of jolly, merry, parties and such...a lot of times it's just business as usual for us. Time seems to have a different dimension. Okay, no getting maudlin here. Off of that and on to another of our ideas for caregivers. Do you care for a bedridden loved one who has a level of paralysis, or lack of movement? If so, bedsores are always a threat looming out there. And every medical person you see will tell you, "they are easier to prevent than to cure." We had an in-depth visit from an R.N. one day who was a "wound specialist," who came to give us instruction on how to move patients in bed and how to prevent any wounds. Our one elder was in nightly pain before this visit. The nurse gave us VERY specific instructions about how to place pillows and prevent pressure sores, and we wrote every last tidbit down. We followed her instructions as completely as we could. Bingo. No more pressure pains. It was miraculous. We found that most hospitals and rehab centers aren't even up to speed on these techniques, and our elder has the pain again if he has to go into the hospital. We are most thankful for this amazing wound nurse and her magic pillows.

Give Me A Break!

2007-12-16T08:05:00.000-08:00

What a lousy weekend. A new weekend home health aide showed up almost an hour late and walked out after being here 45 minutes. When I walked in the bedroom, I noticed that this consummate professional had left a pile of garbage in the middle of the floor. Just when I said we'd had mostly good luck with home health aides, we've hit a patch of bad road. The last two have been total losers. So my first question when a new aide is scheduled to come here will now be, "Do you want to work or do you want to get paid to lay on our couch and eat our food all day." Lest I sound too demanding, home health aides in this part of the country are pretty well paid. The one before this last one came within several inches of dropping eldest elder on the floor. I thought about starting a website called "Home Health Aides Who Stink.com, and naming names. (Although I had a stronger word than "Stink"). Then I figured if I didn't have pictures and multiple witnesses, there would probably be a libel suit. At least they didn't make off with the silverware, which has happened to a friend of ours. Have a good HHA tale to tell----We'd love to hear it.

And Our Nominee for Favorite Product of the Year is...

2007-12-13T16:56:00.000-08:00

Aside from discussing the emotional and technical aspects of caregiving, we like to toss out accolades for our favorite products from time to time. And our favorite product this year is, hands down.......our carbon monoxide detector. Every household with elders (or not) needs smoke and CO2 detectors. We are so adamant about these because our family only lives today because a CO2 detector saved our lives last January. At 2:30 a.m. one morning the downstairs detector began to bleep. Resident light sleeper (me) stumbled down and hit the reset button. In about ten seconds, it began bleeping again. I woke the household and called 911, and the operator told us to open windows and GET OUT! We were roaming the block in our pj's in nine degree weather. (Eldest elder was in an ambulance). As I glanced down the block through the myriad of flashing lights and first responders, I had that pang of doubt: had I overreacted? My doubts were shortlived when I heard the Hazmat guy with the special meter say, "no one goes in unless they're suited up." The CO2 levels in the house were beyond lethal. Some work being done on the chimney had blocked the furnace vent, and the oil furnace was venting directly into the house. We were evacuated to another location for the night.

Needless to say, we now have about six detectors in the house, several on each floor. And because elders can have a diminished sense of smell, we've even added a natural gas detector to the mix. When our story hit the town grapevine, we were amazed at how many people told us that they had no CO2 detectors in their homes. Without our new favorite item, five people and one shaggy dog would not be preparing to celebrate the holidays this year.

Help?

2007-12-11T16:40:00.000-08:00

It's time. You've reached that threshold. You're thinking you need to hire some outside help for your elder---a maid, a companion, a home health aide? Before you bring an outsider in to be with your elder, some precautions may be in order. While our experience with home health aides has been mostly positive (sometimes fantastic), we've all heard the horror stories. It can't hurt to secure the household checkbook, bankbooks, incoming checks, cd's, credit cards, and heirloom or expensive jewelry. This protects household employees as well, since elders sometimes misplace things and erroneously accuse aides of taking them. A small petty cash fund can be left for tips, small purchases or occasional take-out meals. A "credit freeze" is something to consider for any elder, especially if they are unlikely to be opening any new credit accounts. It will help to prevent another person from taking their information and opening a new account in their name. There are lawyers and accountants who specialize in elder law and finance, and a consultation with one of these professionals may be well worth the cost. While it is important to get the help that you and your elder need, it never hurts to be cautious with their valuable or irreplaceable possessions.

FYI, AARP Bulletin this month (December 2007) has an article on the upcoming candidates for president and their policies regarding caregivers. For those politically inclined, it may be worth a look.

Banks and Power of Attorney

2007-12-08T07:25:00.000-08:00

If you care for an elder, you may have legal "Power of Attorney" to oversee their financial transactions for them. My neighbor had these papers drawn up, and when she went to the local bank to cash a check for her mother, the bank told her to bring her mother in. They wanted their own Bank Power of Attorney forms completed and signed, regardless of the legal papers she had. This was a difficult task, since her mother had recently become bedridden. It all seemed incredulous, until we spoke to a friend who is a manager at another local bank. Apparently, she related, there have been cases where an elder chose to change their legal Power of Attorney and neglected to notify the bank. Resentful former POA's have gone to the bank and emptied the accounts. When the new POA went to transact business, the money was GONE! Bottom line, banks must protect themselves. This may not be true in all areas and at all banks, but it can't hurt to make sure that a Legal Power of Attorney is accepted at the local bank---and if not, to fill out the bank's forms as well.

No Care for Caregivers?

2007-12-06T16:42:00.000-08:00

Recently, we happened upon a blog about caregiving from across the Pond. (www.carersgroup.blogspot.com). It is thoughtfully written, and several posts were notable for their mention of a "carer's allowance." Apparently, if you care for an ill or aging relative in Ireland you may qualify for a cash allowance, paid healthcare, and utility subsidies. America is certainly behind the curve here. We have Medicare and Social Security for elders and the disabled, but nothing for those who see to their ongoing care. Many caregivers spend their savings, sacrifice building a retirement fund, and go without adequate healthcare for themselves. The stress of caregiving is aggravated by financial considerations. There doesn't seem to be a immediate answer for this dilemma, but if there is an advocacy group out there for caregivers in the U.S., we'd sure love to know about it. If you know of such an organization, please share the info!

Eldercare Road Trip

2007-12-05T13:21:00.000-08:00

Eldest (non-ambulatory) elder had to go to the doctor yesterday. This takes pretty much a whole day, several people, and lots of props. We have two useful props we turn to repeatedly for elder road trips. First, we rented a handicapped equipped van. We found a place about 8 miles away that rents these by the day, week, whatever. This model opens the door and lowers the ramp with just a tap of the tail-light--too cool. (I know, being a caregiver alters your definition of "cool" completely). The inner seating is already set up to fit the wheelchair inside. For the number of times our elder travels, it is much more cost effective to rent a van than try to purchase one. The second prop we turn to again and again is our portable ramp. With no place to add a permanent ramp or lift onto the house, this portable has served us well. It flips open, bolts to the top step, and holds about 700 pounds. After use, we fold it back up and store it next to the foundation. This ramp was ordered online and even shipped here for free. A number of people have stopped us or knocked on the door to ask where we got such a thing. (The sellers assist you in choosing the right length ramp according to your step height.) By using our special props, eldest elder saw the doctor and still had time for a scenic cruise and a stop at the local diner. And anything that keeps caregivers from lifting a patient (and risking a back injury) is a worthwhile prop in our book.

Movie Focuses on Alzheimer's

2007-12-03T11:23:00.000-08:00

Did anyone see the Hallmark movie about Hollis Woods on Sunday night? It was a family show in which Sissy Spacek played a foster parent showing signs of Alzheimer's Disease. Somehow, the actor's charm and the character's whimsy managed to make Alzheimer's look almost fun. I am glad to see a worldwide spotlight cast on the disease, even if it was made somewhat simplistic for the sake of a pleasant movie. Many of us know that the real story is not always so warm and fuzzy (and might not make for great family viewing.) Those of us who may carry the gene read about current research with our fingers crossed. We have moments of trepidation every time we can't find the word we're looking for or the keys we've misplaced. But at least focusing attention on the disease spurs a search for answers, and for that effort we salute Hallmark.

Have You Had Your Meltdown Today?

2007-12-01T08:25:00.000-08:00

Ideas, tips, things that work for us: are we, as caregivers, always so positive? NO, not at all! We've all had our days where we just lower ourselves to the floor with a crying towel, because a tissue just isn't big enough. This is especially true when dealing 24/7 with our elder that has dementia(Alzheimer's), because someone you know and love is disappearing before your eyes. Seeing another's dementia progress makes you question everything you believe about life. It can pluck your last nerve--and then some. Books on the subject don't begin to capture it. "Take time for yourself," they always repeat. I want to call the author and say, "So, are you coming to eldersit so I can have that time?" I wonder how many of them have actually been there. Sometimes, you just have to give in. We've come to believe that we can cure almost anything these days, but it isn't always so. We had to realize our powerlessness to cure another's dementia, and say, "it is what it is." To find just one thing that a person with dementia still enjoys is a plus: for ours, it's a ride in the car. When all else fails--- we release it to the universe, say a big que sera, sera, and go for a ride. Sometimes, it's the only way to survive.

Ode to a Great Pharmacy

2007-11-29T17:15:00.000-08:00

Unless you're a natural or a saint, there's plenty of frustration that comes with eldercare. Sometimes, though, frustration is just a breakthrough waiting to happen. When one of our elders was released from post-stroke rehab on a Saturday afternoon, he had a fistful of prescriptions in hand. We celebrated his homecoming briefly and headed to the pharmacy to fill the scripts. We were already on our second pharmacy, as the one nearest our home had fallen into a state of total chaos. The new pharmacy was better, but we still felt like faceless numbers at times. When they could not fill one of our elders' new scripts that night, we didn't know what to do. The Pharmacist just looked at the order and said, "We don't stock that," and walked away. We made some calls, and were advised to try some local "mom and pop" stores. So we went to a small drugstore a bit farther down the road to see if they could help us. The Pharmacist there knew exactly what the problem was, and he pulled us aside to explain. Apparently the drug ordered had been available as a generic for many years, and most pharmacies no longer stocked the name brand requested. He offered to fill it with the generic and said we could call the Doctor on Monday. A Pharmacist who takes the time to explain things to you in detail? I liked it already. "By the way," he said, and then he uttered the two little words that would make any caregiver swoon, "we deliver." So our frustration inadvertently led us to the pharmacy we'd been looking for: individual attention, Medicare Rx participants, and free delivery. We've been with them ever since, and the delivery alone has saved us hours of time. If you haven't yet found the pharmacy of your dreams, ask around and keep on looking---it'll be well worth the effort.

Those Amazing Pads

2007-11-27T13:50:00.002-08:00

Early into our foray of being caregivers, we spent gazillion hours doing laundry. Mostly sheets. And more sheets. We're going to be brief and avoid the nitty gritty here: someone saved us many manhours by recommending bed protector pads. They have a nice cotton-like quilted top, and a vinyl underside that's waterproof. They are much smaller than a fitted sheet, and you can fit a bunch in the washer at one time. Do they work? Oh yeah. They really are waterproof, wash up fine, and cut bedsheet changes dramatically. Health aides even use them to slide patients up in bed, they're that strong. Ours have been washed dozens of times, and they continue to hold up. They can be used on chairs and car seats too. The only caveat is, shop around. The prices vary wildly, and we got hosed for the first few that we bought. But I'd pay that price again rather than be without. If you're a caregiver to an elder, go and get some of those amazing pads!

Going Wireless---but not how you think!

2007-11-25T07:38:00.000-08:00

When our eldest elder came home after suffering a stroke, we had to face reality: unable to walk, he would no longer be able to sleep upstairs. We worried about him downstairs alone, and needed a way for him to alert us if he had a problem. Not being a facility, we sure didn't have call buttons. A baby monitor was recommended. Problem was, anyone who could sleep through his snoring would sleep through any other noise he could make. An intercom system proved too difficult for him to maneuver. What to do? I bumped into a friend one day who had cared for an elder in a similar situation. "Why don't you do what we did, get a wireless doorbell?" Well, it was probably worth a try, so off to the hardward store. Our doorbell came with two ringers (those gizmos that you press) and one receiver (the thing that makes the noise). The receiver wasn't much bigger than a paperback book. After loading batteries, we placed the receiver in the central hallway for a test. Pressing the button gave a hearty Big Ben style ring throughout the house. At night, the receiver went upstairs. The button stayed with our elder, hung from his bedrail. This has worked well for us, and I thank the friend who has obviously walked in caregiver shoes for the hot tip. (Just don't forget to keep fresh batteries on board!) BONUS: way cheaper than an intercom system.